“You didn’t do anything wrong; why should you be the first to say I’m sorry?,” she says under her breath. The next day, she declares “If they don’t want then I’m not speaking first.” The following week, she whispers to me, “Don’t say anything about messing up, just act like it didn’t happen.”
Pride.
She is always walking right beside me, waiting for an opportunity to steer me down her path. When I walk with her, I am puffed up, over the top, stubborn, selfish, often times angry and far from love.
Our recent Bible study on humility and pride and events in my life really forced me look at myself. I mean, it forced me to see myself for who I really am, and that has been very humbling and sobering. Here are five ways to know if pride is an issue in your own life and what our scriptural approach should be:
- When we are full of pride, we are often beyond correction, or at least we feel we are. We are ready to defend and debate any feedback or criticism that comes our way. Although correction can be painful, we should instead see it as a way to improve and grow.
Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.
- When pride finds her way in our heart, apologizing is a struggle. Sometimes we have to psych ourselves up to do it or practice what we will say as opposed to simply humbling ourselves. And perhaps you weren’t wrong. But a heartfelt apology for hurt or damage you may / may not have meant to cause often times softens the hearts of others.
James: 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
- If there is a struggle to admit mistakes, that may be a sign of our pride. This one is similar to number two. Our inability to admit that we made an error or that we did the wrong thing or misunderstood instructions, etc. is oftentimes a sign of being overly puffed up.
Proverbs 28:13 You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them. (MSG)
- The presence of a know-it-all attitude is also an indicator that our pride has taken over. Not being willing to hear the ideas of others, hear others complete their thoughts, constantly interrupting are signs of our ego erupting.
Romans 12:3 For by the grace [of God] given to me I say to everyone of you not to think more highly of himself [and of his importance and ability] than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has apportioned to each a degree of faith [and a purpose designed for service].
- When we have a hard time giving others compliments or praise, that is typically a sign of our own pride. Finding it genuinely hard to celebrate the successes of others or to give others heartfelt praise usually means that our pride has been injured. We feel more deserving, more capable, or envious and that prevents us from opening our heart and experiencing true joy for and with others.
Romans 12:15-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down. Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
