Broken For Building

Just recently, my daughters and I had a dance party. We had no special reason to have a party or celebrate. I needed to experience their joy and their laughter and their love and so we had an impromptu dance party, where we could just come as we were and have fun. As their laughter burst out and their dance moves got even sillier, I wanted to take it all in and hold it. I wanted to capture this moment in my heart and in my mind because this was a moment I wanted to experience again. This moment sparked my thoughts about the things I want my daughters to know.

Dear Daughters,

I hope that you read this one day and that it helps you to understand my heart. I hope that you flourish into the woman God intends you to be. Here are seven things I hope that you know and always remember: 

1. I’ve loved you from the start and I love you now. Though it may seem that I am hard on you, I love you and want the best for you. But even so, I realize that my best for you won’t suffice. I want God’s best for you.  

2. I’ve prayed for you even before you were born. I prayed that you would fulfill His purpose for your life. I prayed that you would be beautiful inside and out. I prayed that God would show me how to love you, that He would keep teaching me and molding me into the mother you needed in order to flourish.

3. There is no manual for mothering you and sometimes I wish one existed. But this is a grand responsibility:  to be entrusted with the responsibility of shaping your self-image, your relationship with your children, your views of the world, your concept of love, forgiveness,  being a woman, self-acceptance is a great task. I do not have a manual that tells me what to do. So I make mistakes, I get angry and frustrated. Mostly I’m frustrated at myself for not knowing how to be an expert at this. But I depend on God’s grace and His ability to correct me and to show me how to love you and parent you.

4. Please forgive me. Please forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made. If I have assumed that I could love you based on my needs and not yours, please forgive me. Please forgive me for not always saying I’m sorry.

5. I love dancing with you because then, I can capture your smile. Your joy is pure and complete and you seem to genuinely happy. Because I am happy and I’ve put down the world to dance with you and enjoy the moment, you are gleaming. I hope we dance together forever.

6. I think often about what you will remember about me. What will I have given you besides food and shelter? What will I have deposited in your soul that you will want to carry with you always? What pieces of me will you have that bring you joy and peace of mind? 

7. You are brave and strong and I admire your willingness to try new things. Your bravery gives me strength and fuels my courage.  May your bravery never shrink to cowardice; may your bravery inspire all those you encounter.

8. You are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful and nothing about you is by accident. Your personality is just what it should be. Your smile is just perfect for your face. Your light shines bright and I hope the world does not dull it’s glow.

9. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I prayed for you then and I pray for you now. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I’m asking God to show me what to do.

Lord, thank you for the precious daughters you have given me. Thank you for entrusting me with so great a duty. Thank you for grace and mercy that follow me daily as I shepherd and lead your children. Help me to stop and take in every moment. Teach me what to focus on as I correct, teach, lead, and love them.

 May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants.

May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.

Psalm 144:12