Broken For Building

“Where is everybody when I need A friend?” I thought to myself. We stepped out into the bright sun together. “How are you doing?” she said as everyone around us cheerfully exchanged greetings and hugs after the morning’s church service. As we stood outside near the stairs, I wanted to give my usual “I’m doing great” or “I’m blessed and can’t complain” pre-packaged response. But I couldn’t do it today; what came out was an ugly sob and buckets of tears.

Through my tears, I managed to tell this woman (who must have thought “Poor girl”) an abbreviated account of what was going on with me. She offered me a hug and allowed me a chance to share my heart and for that moment, and I thought that was all I needed. But when the moment was over, I didn’t feel better. In fact, I felt as if I was not supposed to have shared what I shared. I felt as if God wanted me to have had the exchange with Him instead.

God had me in a unique place at the time. He was altering my perspective, my plans and my spirit. While this is an awesome thing, it is uncomfortable, exciting, and  frightening  all at the same time.  I was journeying with others, but yet, I couldn’t understand why I felt alone, why it felt as if no one was with me.

While I typically enjoy time alone, there are times when I long to be in the thick of life with others. There are times when we want to know that everyone feels what we feel and that others are going through the stages we are going through. There are times when we long for camaraderie, comfort and confirmation from those around us.

I had been in the midst of people, people who loved me, yet I still felt alone and scared and lost.I was with people who had intimate relationships with Christ, yet I felt alone. And that day, I wanted someone to walk with me. I needed someone to understand and let me know that I would come out victorious. I was searching for someone, anyone who could understand and maybe let me know that I was going in the right direction.

You may be in a “Where’s everybody when I need a friend” season. No one seems to get it, not even those closest to you. No one seems to understand the vision you’ve been given or maybe no one can relate to the experiences God is taking you through. Perhaps everyone seems busy doing their own thing and they don’t seem to have noticed that you needed a friend.

You may be surrounded by others, yet still feel alone on the journey. It may not be the most comforting to know in this moment, but I believe that sometimes this is just where God wants us. He wants you and I right there, in the moment when we cannot look to others to give us affirmations.He wants us right there, in the moment when we cannot depend on others to give us what we should be getting from God. He wants us right where we have nothing else to stand on but our faith, in the moment when our faith is most shaky and uncertain. There, is where He wants us: standing on our faith.

There may be some situations that we have to walk through alone, some lessons that won’t be learned in the company of others. There may some visions that won’t be birthed unless God can get us alone, unless He can get us to look to Him, to long for Him, to call out to Him instead of calling out to everyone else.

When we feel like the most needy in the midst of our situations, that is the time to:

1. Press into God’s presence even more – Cry out to God with an expectation that He will answer you! In Psalm 34:17 David says, “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” Putting our hope primarily in others and looking to them to fill us with only what God can do will always leave us unsatisfied.
2. Use the time to focus on where God is leading you – Instead of focusing on where everyone is in this time, use the quiet time to hear God’s voice. When we are listening to all the other voices of our lives, it can sometimes drown the voice of God.  In Psalm 43:3-5, the psalmist reminds us to ask God to send his light and truth as a guide. When we ask, God answers!

Lord, in the moments when I tend to run to others, help me to seek your voice, your guidance first. Help to know that sometimes You desire to get me alone so that You can work in me.