Broken For Building

Dear Loved One,

For most of my life, I’ve invested a great deal of time thinking, worrying and and talking about those who didn’t stay in my life. For one reason or another, my relationship with these individuals dissolved, grew apart or changed for the worst or maybe never really existed. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be or maybe they were only here for a season. I’ve cried, called and reached out until I was unsure of what else to do.  

I’ve replayed a million conversations in my head, trying to envision how the scenario could have been different. The pages of my journals are filled with memories, thoughts, and prayers dedicated to each one of these people. As I reflect,  I realize that I’ve neglected you because you have been there. You did not cause me pain, grief or make me cry; instead, you have chosen to stay with me.

You have stayed and I am writing this letter to you. I have decided that instead of investing in what I don’t have, I will sow into what I do have and appreciate what you bring to my life. You have stayed,  and what have I done to thank you for that? I have not cried or taken the time to journal about your role and presence in my life because you’ve always been there.

But today, I recognize that perhaps I’ve wasted time and energy focusing on the ones who left, when all along I should have been celebrating the ones who stayed. So this letter is for you.

You’ve stayed and instead of filling the pages of my notebook with the memories of people who for whatever reason are no longer a part of my story, I’ve chosen to write in honor of you.

You’ve stayed through my tears. Even at my worst, you saw me and still chose to stay. You stayed despite the tense moments and my indifference at times. You’ve chosen to stay and today I am celebrating you. You’ve chosen to stay when my mouth spills out words that cause you pain or when I didn’t know the words to stay. You’ve remained when others have exited and you’ve stayed when I overlooked you and chose to look at what I didn’t have.

Today, I celebrate you because you’ve stayed. Your choice to stay has taught me about myself, about love, about friendship and most importantly, it has helped me to appreciate you even more.

You may still choose to leave, but for today, you are here and for today, I’m going to celebrate your choice to stay with me.