For most of my life, I’ve been standing on a wall, close to a wall or have been surrounded by walls. Those walls have been my comfort zone, my safety net, my barrier to keep emotions, people, and situations out. The wall has allowed me to hold on to my fears, while remaining safe. On Sunday, I finally got off a wall and it felt great! I felt free; I felt like a person who had conquered years of fear, years of little faith. I felt like by letting go of the wall, I learned to trust in God more. What wall am I talking about? The walls of the pool, yes, I did it.
As far back as I can remember, I have been afraid to swim. I’ve always needed to hold on to a wall while in the pool. If my feet couldn’t touch the ground, I felt extremely uncomfortable and vulnerable. But thanks to my swimming lessons (and with no pressure from my instructor), I let go of the wall and swam! As I thought about my fear prior to my last class, I saw connections with my fear of swimming and my fears in other areas of life. For example, in relationships and friendships, many of us build walls that are supposed to protect us from hurt or disappointment. We wade through our relationships and run back to the wall for safety, comfort and to avoid facing our issues. In what areas of life are you still holding on to those walls?
For many of us, it may not necessarily be the actual wall in a pool that we hold on to – but we have other walls around us. We have emotional walls that are built to keep us safe, to keep others from penetrating the depths of our heart, to keep us from being hurt. Each wall is built for specific reasons, because of specific situations that have occurred in our lives. In our mind, the wall makes sense because it has always been there. But the funny thing about the wall is that though we think it is helping us, it actually does the opposite. It hinders our ability to live, to move forward, to love with all our heart. The wall ends up pushing the ones we love the most away and causing us to lose the very things we most desire.
It Takes Much Faith to Let Go of the Wall
Prior to getting to class on Sunday, I told myself that I was going to let go of the wall and venture out. I kept repeating that to myself and I think that by the time I got to class, I was ready to try it. The same thing applies to letting go of our personal walls – There comes a time when you have to believe that you can let go of it, that you can function without it, that you can go forward because you’ve been groomed to do it. It takes faith, lots of faith.
I had to believe that the water would hold me. When I decide to let go of my walls, I have to believe that Jesus will catch me, that His word is firmly planted in my heart, that I will not fall flat on my face. And this takes faith…great faith. In Luke 5:4 before Jesus called Simon to be a disciple, He instructed Simon to “launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” It took faith for Simon to let out his net. In fact, Simon’s response was that he had not been successful all night, but because Jesus required him to, he would obey.
Jesus is instructing us to let go of the walls, launch out into the deep so that we can have a catch like never before. We can haul in love without fear, love without limits. We can haul in our authentic selves, without the “makeup” to make us look good. Are you willing to let go and launch out?
Oh But the Benefits
Letting go of the wall is scary and it puts you out there. It forces you to face your fears and to face all the things you’ve tried to keep out. But, the benefits are far greater than the risk of being stuck on a wall for the rest of your life. I can actually experience a whole new world of being in the water and not simply being on the sidelines, watching others enjoy the experience. Like Simon, the result of launching out is greater than what I will ever experience holding on to the wall. I can experience all that the water has to offer…all because I let go of the wall.
Lord, I have built up these walls, these fears, these insecurities, these emotions in hopes of protecting myself from hurt, disappointment, and sometimes from people. The more I hold on to the walls in my life, the more I hinder myself from moving forward. Reveal those walls to me and grow my faith so that I can let the walls go and launch my net into to the deep – deeper love, deeper faith, and deeper relationships.
