Maintaining quality friendships has been both a challenge and a blessing to me. In the past, I took pride in being a “me, myself, and I” girl. I was content with shallow relationships that did nothing more than graze the surface of my life. It felt too invasive to let others in and I felt that if I kept people on the outskirts, I would not have to deal with disappointment, hurt or heartbreak. But I believe that those years of shallow interactions actually led to increased feelings of loneliness and rejection.
I believe that God has not called us to be “loners,” but that He desires us to have friends that help to shape us into His image. Even Jesus had a core group that he hung out with. David had Jonathan, Elijah had Elisha, Naomi had Ruth, and Moses had Aaron.
The Bible has much to say about friends and what we must do to maintain quality friendships. Below are 13 things the Bible says about friendships:
Friendship requires mutual trust and vulnerability. It requires the ability to be willing to cry and offer your shoulder. Likewise, it requires the ability to rejoice with others when they celebrate victories.
- Proverbs 11:13 – Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
2. Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
We should be willing to receive and give honest, godly counsel from those we call friends. If we only surround ourselves with people who will agree with us, then we run the risk of isolating ourselves from wisdom and sound judgment. We should ask God to help us discern advice to determine if it is godly advice; prior to giving advice, we should ask God if and how we should give advice.
3. Proverbs 15:22 – Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
4. Proverbs 18:1 – Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.
5. Proverbs 27:5-6 – Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
6. Proverbs 27:9 – Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
Our friends should make us better and they should enrich our lives in some way. Likewise, we should also bring something of worth into their lives. Some friends make us laugh when we need laughter while some friends encourage us.
7. Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
8. Proverbs 18:24 – One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
9. Proverbs 22: 24 – Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
10. Proverbs 12:26 – The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
11. Proverbs 13:20 – Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
While we want to operate in honesty and truth, the words we say to our friends matter. They stick and they will always be remembered; so as we deliver truth to our friends, we need to also be patient and forgiving.
12. Proverbs: 17:14 – Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
13. Proverbs 25:15 – Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Dear Lord, I place my friendships before you. Give me wisdom and discernment in each one of them. Remove all of those relationships that are not aligned with where You are taking me. I trust You to lead me in all areas and I am placing each friend into your hand.
