Broken For Building

Did you really have to say that? Was that really the best thing to do? Did you accomplish what you were trying to accomplish in that situation? Questions like these can be tough to answer and the first inclination can be to avoid the tough stuff. 

Sometimes we avoid or despise having people in our lives who tend to question our actions or decisions. But don’t avoid these people and their tough questions. They can help keep you grow spiritually or help you realize a new perspective in a tough situation. 

As king, David was surrounded by people who wanted to please him and they all went along with his plan to kill Uriah without any questions. David had wrong motives and no one challenged his decision or questioned what he was doing (2 Samuel 11). The danger in not having spiritual accountability is that there is no other set of spiritual eyes when your eyes are blinded by the details of your situation. In David’s situation, he was so blinded by his emotions, his lust that his spiritual compass was foggy. While it is lovely to have friends and family agree with everything we choose to do, it is unwise and dangerous to our growth.

God sends us these special people to open our eyes to the spiritual implications of our decisions and we should be grateful that these people love us enough to not want to see us go down the wrong path. Sometimes those individuals are our spouses, parents, children, sisters, close friends, mentors, co-workers, etc. Don’t discount the vehicle that God uses to keep you spiritually accountable.  In David’s case, God sent the prophet Nathan to help David realize his sin.  We can learn much from Nathan’s approach in cases where we are called to help keep someone accountable. He was not judgmental or rude. Instead, he calmly discussed the situation with David and eventually in 2 Samuel 12:13, David realized his wrong when he said “I have sinned before the Lord….”

Accountability Requires Transparency
Transparency is a must if we must have accountability with each other. We have the tendency to say that “This is my business, my life, my decision,” but really one decision has the capability to influence many lives.  When it comes to decisions that can negatively impact our relationship with God, we must be transparent enough to share our story, our trials, our struggles, our fears, etc.  Our pride keeps us from being transparent. Pride tells us the lie that the other person will think less of us and that he/she will know too much of our business. Transparency and accountability allows us to let others in, to have a spiritual sounding board, and to see our situation from a different viewpoint. 

Accountability Is Not About Being Right
Accountability is not about me being right, its about being right in God’s eyes. What I love about David in this situation is that he was humble enough to realize that he was wrong about how he handled the situation with Uriah. He did not argue or get angry with Nathan.  Defensiveness about our decisions only comes when we have hardened our hearts about a situation. If we are open to hearing and figuring out the way God wants us to go, we should also be open to hearing what others have to say. 

Who holds you accountable for your actions or decisions? Do you have Nathans in your life? Perhaps some accountability partners are for a lifetime, but it is possible that you could have one for a short time span. You may have a different one for different areas of your life. Pray that God would strategically place you relationships where spiritual accountability exists.

Lord, I thank you for the “Nathans” in my life that challenge the spiritual validity of my decisions and actions. Help me to stay transparent and open to those special people and not let my fear, guilt or pride push them away.