Competition is at an all time high. And who can blame us? With instant access inside the lives of others (via social media), it’s easier than ever for the seeds of envy and competition to sprout up. Our fears about others doing what we are doing, being better than us, having more than us only work to keep us stuck, and to keep us from being the people we are called to be.
I’ll never forget walking into to the ballroom at a conference in 2016. Outside, the heat of the July morning sun was already nearing it’s peak but inside the conference center, everything was beautiful, almost flawless. The white flowers and the decor were perfect and over 800 women were looking their absolute best. These women were all eager to see what they would be able to glean from this conference and as I took it all in, the excitement welled up in me.
I took a seat and almost immediately, two women who sat at my table smiled and struck up a conversation. “Where are you from? Is this your first time? Which track are you on?” Each woman nervously fumbled through her purse to share her business card as she muttered “Writing Track” or “Leadership Track,” etc.
This exchange of information should have been a wonderful thing. I mean,these were women who were interested in the same things I was interested in. However, instead of relishing in the moment, the more cards I got, the more I started to fall into the trap of comparison.
My fears became suddenly magnified. Maybe everyone was more qualified than I was. Maybe this wasn’t where I needed to be after all. My business card wasn’t as chic, colorful or creative; neither was my card printed on the heavy stock paper everyone else seemed to have used.
As my fears floated above my excited, I began to second guess myself. You see, when I left home, I loved my cards! I was excited and content with what I had. Sure, there were a few things I could have changed, but overall I was pleased, initially that is. But as soon as I began to see what was out there, and the little envy monster started to rear his head, I started to lose confidence in my decision. My insecurities were further magnified as I began to check out the webpages and social media of the ladies. Some seemed to have waaaaay more followers, more likes, better graphics…You name it, I was looking at it. Why her?
So I confess, my fear of not being the best, not being the only one who was good was staring me in my face and almost won. And while I suffered from “Why Her” syndrome, I could have missed God. “Why Her” syndrome is a result of my hidden fear of someone else shining or someone else being deserving. “Why her? What makes her so special? She’s not even all that.”
Sometimes we are so focused on comparing our neighbor’s gift to our gifts, our marriage, our friendships, our homes, our businesses, our ministry, our children that we miss what God has placed in our own hand!
The phenomenal thing about God is that His hand is large enough to cradle of all us. His power is vast enough to equip us all for His work. He loves each one of us enough to fill us up with all that we need to accomplish what He needs us to do. Just because He blesses her, that doesn’t limit his ability to bless me. Just because she’s better at ________, doesn’t make me any less wonderful. Why Not Her?
We are all on the same team and we both are guaranteed victory in Jesus. 1 Corinthians 12 reminds us that we are all one body, serving the same Lord. Why not her? She’s just as worthy, just as hardworking, just as fabulous. And that is okay. And I’m just as worthy. Her greatness does not diminish mine.
Lord, today I give you my fear of the success and greatness of those closest to me. I realize that my fears are an indication of how I’ve refused to see you. Forgive me for failing to see that you are BIG and that you are able to hold and carry all your children in your hands.
P.S. Our book club studied Enemies of the Heart by Andy Stanley. This book really gave me a heart check. Check out this review to see if this is a book that would benefit you.
